![]() Henry Cloud, Necessary EndingsĪ friend told me to read the book Necessary Endings during my divorce 7 years ago. “Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.” ~ Dr. So when you have the toughest decision of your life to make – make your next best decision. Move into it boldly, and then see what happens. One thing Mark Drezga, one of my coaches said recently was, “The decision to divorce is no more an indicator of the end of your marriage than the decision to get married was for a lifetime of love.”Įvery decision you make, just requires another decision. He made a decision to get divorced, but he is still seeing her and they slept together in a king sized bed – they’re having a fine time. My business partner Tim Wade just got back from a vacation with his ex wife and daughters. It could be something you need to say to your wife or something you want to say to your boss, but staying quiet, mulling around living in fear, and worrying about the worst possible outcome is almost always worse than making a decision. Whenever you make a decision, something breaks loose. When you make a decision, all of a sudden, things move. Something I know for sure is that when a man makes a decision, he creates kinetic energy.momentum…movement. Henry Cloud wrote called Necessary Endings, and in it he says that, in life, sometimes we have to deliberately allow bad things to end before any good things can come along and take their place. We talk a lot about confidence and often I ask the men I speak to when I’m coaching them, “Do you have some level of confidence that no matter what happens, you’re going to somehow figure it out?” ![]() Well, sometimes you get to a place where you know that no matter what happens after you make a decision, you’re going to be able to figure it out. ![]() The point here is that when you have a really, really tough decision to make that you’re agonizing over, that you’re analyzing and you’re finding yourself paralyzed by it, where you wake up every morning pissed at yourself for not making a decision and y ou wish you could just make a damn decision, but you need more data, you need more reassurance, you need more certainty…you need something! He had many reasons for not making a decision.īut he finally had enough. Or we get to stay in certain misery instead of uncertain happiness.Įight days ago my brother made the hardest decision of his life. There is usually some hidden benefit we get by deciding to stay in our current state. The decision to not make a decision or to change our circumstance is a decision to stay in our current state. My answer is, “Really? You’re absolutely miserable right now and you’re afraid of being more miserable?” The most common challenge I hear is, “Yeah but what if the change I create is something WORSE than I’ve got right now?!” And if you decide to do nothing…nothing will change. But if you decide to create movement…something will change. The frustration of indecision is caused by the fear that nothing will ever change. The act of making a decision ALWAYS CREATES MOVEMENT IN SOME DIRECTION. Just state exactly what you’re thinking and what you want. The answer is to simply make your NEXT decision. How do you break free from the fear of outcome and the fear of someone’s reaction? ![]() Take Our Attractive Husband Self Assessment Here > Or they want to speak their truth to somebody so badly it’s eating them alive and keeping them in a dark, angry place. Or they may feel trapped in a job or career that is sucking their soul out of their body on a daily basis. They may be stuck in the “Limbo Land” of a marriage that is spiraling out of control with no resolution in sight. Each day I day talk to men on the hairy edge of making a decision.
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